I recently lost more money (invested) than I've made in the last two and a half years since quitting my normal job. Way, way more. But then, I haven't made diddly in self-employment. I really wanted that to work, but maybe it's not what is best for me. I wanted it to work because I would be able to hide comfortably at home and not deal with all the pressures I experienced in my former job that made me wish I was dead every other night. But I guess hiding isn't going to get me anywhere. It's just that...sometimes I step out the door and I feel like I haven't made any progress whatsoever, and never will. I feel kinda sick about losing the money, but it's just a temporary value in this world. I can get over it. What's worse is the feeling that I'm incapable of seeking/finding/landing a job like any normal human dude should be able to. If I can't do that then I can never do all the other normal things that dudes do in life. Alright, enough of that. Any more and I'll be praising the devil. This is not a pity post; I'm okay. I just had to get out the bad news before getting to the--
GOOD NEWS!
Last night I finished writing a story I've been working on for a long while.
*crickets*
Okay, so it's not earth-shattering or anything, but to me it's a big deal. One of my goals in life was to finish writing what I considered to be a decent story, and maybe get it published. I don't have much faith in the latter part (although I could self-publish if I absolutely wanted), but just finishing the thing is goal enough for me. I've been working on it for close to three years, even though it's only novella size. I procrastinate and have trouble finishing things of a creative nature if they look too daunting to me.
The story itself is only decent, I'm sure. I'm proud of certain sections, but other sections are embarrassing to look back on and need some help. In fact, it's probably all boring, but I don't care. It's done! There's no major danger, you can see the reveals coming from a mile off, and the romance (oh yes) is sappy and cheesy. The title is My Hero, the Janitor. It's about a maintenance worker at a toy factory who learns, along with all his fellow employees, that their yearly bonus has been replaced by a novelty item this year, despite higher than average revenue for the company. Something smells fishy, and he aims to find out why. Along the way, he must deal with repeated put-downs from an arrogant executive, and work through his fondness for the receptionist at the front desk. Also, it takes place on an island. Because islands make for good stories.
i will spare you all the "do not store up your treasures on earth.." because i know you already know that. it stinks that you lost money, and i know too well the how sick it can make you feel, especially when you don't have that much to begin with. i also get the fear of being a homeless bum, because if it weren't for my parent's generosity, i would be one...or would at least be at the mercy of "the system." *shudder*
ReplyDeletehiding...always seems like a fantastic idea, doesn't it? it never quite works out for me, either, and job hunting can be sooo stinking awful. for me the worst parts are the interview/starting aspects, but those are pretty big parts. daunting...but doable. mostly. heh. you can be sure there is a Plan, though sometimes i wish i could see the big picture, so all the little detours made more sense.
congrats on finishing your story!! that is quite an accomplishment. :) it's always been kind of a pipe dream of mine to write children's books...because having read so many over the years, i've come across some pretty DUMB kid's books. i've never taken it farther than wishful thinking though, because i have that, "well, if i don't try, i can't fail" mentality sometimes. the flip side of that is, if i don't try i can't succeed either. :/ so, totally patting you on the back for plugging through. and you're right, islands do make for good stories...ahhhhh, sometimes i dream of living on an island. anyway, it sounds like an interesting plot line, and i've seen your imagination at work here on your toony blog, so i'm sure it is probably more entertaining than you think...we are, after all, our own worst critics.
Thank you for your kind words. :)
ReplyDeleteI am trusting in the Plan, no matter what it may be.
Now I want to know what kind of stories you'd like to write.
short vague answer...all kinds. :p
ReplyDeletereally, i think i have too many ideas running around my head, and not enough patience to sort them all out!